The Geek's Travels

Unfortunately, I’ve lost the album cover that I created for it - it was a parody of generic food packaging from my childhood. The album title makes more sense when you know this.

Track1: Dr Frank
Track 2: Deep Space
Track 3: Normal View
Track 4: Dancin’ Homer
Track 5: Resonance
Track 6: Wobbly Legs
Track 7: Powwow
Track 8: Jam
Track 9: Front Porch
1Track 10: Ephemoral
Track 11: Mystic Art of Bok Choy
Track 12: Dream
Track 13: Singularity
Track 14: HAL 9000

I was browsing a couple feet behind a pair of older ladies. Little did I know that one of them was about to make my day.

The lady in question pointed to a set of mixing bowls and said to her friend, “See, that’s what I need. Martha Stewart bowls. If I had them, all my food would taste better.”

She said this in absolute deadpan. Not even a hint of a smile.

Madam, I applaud you. You have truly mastered the biting art of sarcasm.

Light bulbs are not actually “light bulbs” but dark absorbers. When you turn them on, they suck the dark out of the room. You can prove this by holding your hand under a “light bulb”. The dark will stack up under your hand where its path to the absorber is blocked by your hand. When they quit working and turn a dark color, it’s not because they burnt out, it’s because they’re full.

Last night, I was visiting my parents. Also there was my ten month old niece, running about in her walker. At one point, she went into the kitchen and grabbed a towel to carry around. Geek that I am, I said, “There’s a girl who really knows where her towel is.” Without missing a beat, my mom said, “Well, you never know when she’ll be hitchhiking across the galaxy.” My mom is awesome.

ragbag:

“…he’s so rich, he doesn’t even buy underwear—he just wears his slacks once or twice and then tosses ‘em.”

i knew that i wanted to be a rich bastard for a reason.